Hoax Alert: UK Nanny State Takes Kids From Fat Family, Issues Biscuit Threat Index

We’ve previously commented on how the land of Orwell seems hell-bent on invading the personal lives of its citizens.  Now here’s all the proof necessary to feel both concerned and superior at once. Sadly, only one is a hoax.


Here’s a remarkable story of government power from Dundee, Scotland, in which the state has taken children from a fat family because their children may be more likely to grow up fat.


Meanwhile, the Cookie Monster weeps softly in his crumbs as a study reveals that half of all Britons have been injured by their cookies and biscuits.  When I saw there was now a Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation Index and a British Biscuit Appreciation Society to answer such concerns, I new we were in a brave new world.

Fortunately, the whole biscuit-as-threat story was a hoax, perpetrated by a biscuit company with an especially pointy new cookie.  Both the index and the biscuit society were intended to make fun of the UK’s fixation on health safety.

The truth is people are ready to be scared
However, their real survey showed that government officials already thought biscuits were regulated, and that that public could be easily scared into welcoming restrictions.

Mike Driver, Fox Biscuits’ marketing director, said research showed one in five surveyed believes there is a need for more rules and regulations concerning safe biscuit consumption.

The revealed the most recent figures show that 400 people a year in Britain had to be treated in Accident and Emergency departments for biscuit-related accidents.

These included ‘somebody falling over while reaching for a biscuit,’ someone slipping on a chocolate biscuit on their stairs and various people choking on these hazardous unregulated desserts.

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